User blog:JaphethMario/Cartoon Network vs Nickelodeon - Japheth's Rap Battle Ep.2
“Cause this whole awards is rigged, and we all know the riggers For the last 17 years, this country is run by nig- SPONGEBOB!” Ha! I beat you to that joke, I’m a physic, unless that‘s not the first joke you’re thinking Cartoon Network vs Nickelodeon is the first parody battle, unless you count Madotsuki vs Frisk. In case you don’t know what this battle is parody, well it’s Trump vs Clinton...yeah. Introduction: This is the 2nd installment of Japheth’s Rap Battle (Mad Father vs Witch’s House was the pilot), it features cartoon channel, Cartoon Network, against uhhh...another channel, Nickelodeon with surprise third party ...ugh... another another cartoon channel, Disney Channel, tyo see which of these three are the better...cartoon channel Rappers: Cartoon Network is in white text Nickelodeon is in orange text Disney is in red text Speaking Cameos: Rebeltaxi is in yellow text Mr. Enter is in blue text Pieguyrulz is in brown text Location: Kids Choice Awards - Both Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon Various Black and White Block Background - Cartoon Network Various Slime Splat Background - Nickelodeon Disney Castle - Disney Channel BATTLE 'Cartoon Network Verse:' Your green slimes can’t match the flows of this black and white block rappa Bringing back classic from Looney Toons to Hanna-Barbera I’m the cartoon network, who filled this Universe with joy by songs and dance You’re the cartoon program who wouldn’t give Zim a second chance Nick is getting irrelevant, stop using YouTube to escape from your grim end Sharing traits with that squeaky voice Fred, and that’s you both produce dead content *Fred’s laugh* Give other Nicktoons some spotlight; sticking to one kitchen tool is aberrant You don’t care ‘bout Arnold’s reunion, you think it’s Funnie to kill off his parents And you ruin Jimmy‘s brain blast, putting that Sheen dweeb making us snore, pal Nick News was a mistake, it makes CNN have brains to report real journal Adult Swimming, sending a Toonami wave, I’m coming back stronger like a Boomarang While you only got a Junior block, and Nickelodeon still can’t school me at raps, dang! I mean you teach kids in the Barnyard, male cows have boobies Oh, I’m dropping these bars harder than the ratings of the Last Airbender movie So you’re more immature than a rugrat, ‘cause you got powers to misuse Hey here’s some criticism, “well let me strike down your reviews” But that’s fair use Viacom, “I like bullying channels and get paid” Well that’s cheating the system “so, I rigged the KCA” (Ha!) Not so perfect now, mary-sue Don’t try to play the victim card, Bendy two Butcher characters into one dimension unfairly fools Stop adding useless characters in a show of fairies, dude You once have Drake and Josh, now Bell and your sitcoms are simply flawed Revive the hedgehog’s boom, you ruin Rayman with cash-grabbing minion hoes Acting all hip and edgy make more flinch than you stub octupus’ toes Nick’s fame is going on a low blow, end your program with a suicide joke 'Nickoledeon Verse:' Look, I admire that you started the rebirth of cartoon and that’s the truth But I like to fire your company, but you already give yourself the re-boot Cartoons are going to fall, who wants a network who’s always hungry and all Who have the biggest weirdest fetish for sucking a ton of Gumballs? (Woah, Momma!) Wanna talk about take down, you take down more lives than I torture grumpy squids You knock innocent live’s moonights out, like you did in the Boston bombings, kid (Aaah! Real Monster) I apologize for that touchy subject, but here’s something You Can’t Do That in TV And that‘s going behind in the scenes, touching your victim’ in the tities If you want the original network, then stick Nick From gross-out to internet stars, CN just rip it Heck, you stole your Laboratory’s Test and shit it And replacing with genderswaps and hip’s whip Your “feminist“ message, isn’t working You ditch your assistant’s boobies, giving us little girls twerking What will future creators get inspire from a regular slacker gaming nerd? Who doesn’t have the courage to step in the darkness of the real world!? They want a Loud competitor promising the bright future for cartoon characters (Morning, morning, morning) Not an incest-loving, wrinkly, mental challenged Uncle Grandpa (Spongehack) All your creators gone broke, like the fourth wall broke by Dora Put Breadwinners in front of Korra You disappoint us with all your shitty remake cartoon line I’ll satisfy Fanboys, putting down Adventure Time Interrupt your entire channel’s show to make way for the real star My 10 is better than Incredible Crew, cause I got a Fart in the Jar I can wish cartoons be great again, I got two magical fairies Beat you and your friends, oh wait, all of them are imaginary The only bars you spit, is you being behind when you try to diss me Guess CN is getting salty cause his Star Wars was brought by --- 'Disney Channel Verse:' AFTER GRAVITY FALLS’ ENDING, THIS INDUSTRY IS STILL IN A DARK AGE IT’S THE STAR OF THE MONOPOLY VERSUS THE FORCES OF THESE DISGRACE I’VE SEEN MORE MATURE CONTENT AT MY LITTLE PONY BOTH OF THEM ARE WORTHLESS HACKS, THAT EVEN I WON’T BE BOTHER BUYING YOU PHOENIES TAKE LESSONS FROM DUCKTALES, EVERY GOOD SHOWS HAVE TO END, NICK CONTINUE SUCKING SPONGE‘S DICK, THEN KIDS WILL BE SICK OF THE SAME SHTICK (Ha!) OH WARNER SIS, ARE YOU TESTING MY INTELLGENCE WITH YOUR “SMART” SATIRE HUMOR!? “THIS CARTOON IS FOR KIDS” MEANS YOU SHOW NO RESPECT TO YOUR OWN VIEWERS CHILDREN NEED SOMETHING TIMELESS THAT BOTH THEM AND ADULTS CAN ENJOY NOT SOME DATED FADS SHITTING ON THE ORIGINAL’S VISION BY SELLING TOYS WHY BOTHER FIGHTING EACH OTHER, WHEN YOU BOTH SHARE THE SAME DICKERY!? WITH FALSE PROMISES, KILLING GOOD SHOWS, USING NOSTALGIA STRINGS, MICKEY!! WHO WON!? CARTOON NETWORK NICKELODEON DISNEY CHANNEL Category:Blog posts